Traveling Alone

For the longest time, I've read about all the perks of traveling alone, how you discover yourself and all that. Everything sounded great, empowering even. But there was always that small niggling of fear and self doubt. What if I got lost? What if people think I'm weird for eating alone? What if something bad happens to me? 

I'm someone who overthinks things most of the time. Even silly thoughts like, what if my bag gets too heavy, popped into my head. I mean, what if I have to use the toilet while on the flight? Do I bring all my valuables with me or leave them at my seat? If I take an aisle seat, are my belongings then safe?! 

This year, just before my birthday I decided that I was going to finally learn how to travel on my own. I mean, I'm pretty good at reading maps and finding out stuff. I've just always travelled with someone else as a safety net. After all, safety in numbers as the saying goes right? But I digress. 

I was scared shitless. No one tells you about the self doubt and worry that comes right before your first solo trip. Especially if you've decided to do it halfway across the world. My only saving grace was that I picked cities where I knew that the general population definitely spoke English. It probably didn't help that I was swamped at work the weeks leading up to my trip that I hardly had time to plan anything. 

I was off to London to visit a friend, with my last day there being my first test of wandering around alone. After that it was off to Belfast on my own. Then, I met my sister in Dublin before doing more self exploration in Holland whilst staying with a friend. 

It wasn't a fully solo trip for 2 weeks, but it was just enough soloness to provide me with a balance. Thankfully everything went fine and along with the experience, I found a new sense of freedom. 

So here's what I learnt - 

1. It's ok to talk to yourself. 

I talk to myself a lot on an everyday basis. When I was traveling alone, I basically had running conversations in my head. I might have even smiled randomly or giggled sometimes. Buts that's ok - it made me feel less lonely and allowed me to voice my thoughts. 

2. Trusting myself 

I knew that I could definitely navigate and deal with stuff but being alone puts it on a whole new level. There's no one to fall back upon if you screw up. And if you do screw up, it's ok. You are smart enough and resourceful enough to figure it out. Just gotta keep calm. 

3. The freedom is amazing 

I get to do what I want to do and when I want to. The planning is amazingly easy. I can even sleep at 10pm while on holiday if I want to. I get to eat what I like, and do what I like. On my last day in Belfast, I just roamed around and somehow ended up in this pretty cool museum which was not even part of what I had planned to do that day. 

4. Stepping out of your comfort zones 

I'm a shy person. Traveling alone forced me to ask questions and make new friends. And it was surprisingly fun. I talked to random strangers in the bus, made friends on day tours. And took away the feeling that hey, there are nice and genuine people in the world still. 

5. That sense of accomplishment

Until a few weeks ago, I'd only ever sat down in a cafe once to have a meal alone. And that was fast food. The sense of "yes I did it!" that followed my first solo meal kept me warm and fuzzy all afternoon (and no, it was not the seafood chowder I had). Taking my first flight alone, successfully finding a place, learning from mistakes made - all these are things that I'll take away from my trip.

So would I do it again? Probably. But when, I don't know yet.